Disgusting Feeling
by Yoari Dank
Summary: Feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence has always been conquest and ambition. Love? Compassion? Affect? These were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition. Dib understands it to the worst way he can imagine, Zim is a monster in every sense of the word.


**Invader Zim doesn´t belong to me is owned by Jhonen Vasquez, I only borrow the characters for the purpose of this story.**

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**Warnings: This fic is a ZaDe and has hints of DaTr and ZaGr (if the shipps are not to your liking please refrain from reading), character death and ambiguous plot.**

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**One-shot. Disgusting feeling.**

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_**"It's the most horrible creature I've ever seen in my life."**_

That´s the only thought in Dib's mind as he lies on his knees in front of the ostentatious throne of his worst enemy. The black surface of polished marble reflects the horror of his gaze when he observes the vile creature, a creature who instead returns the gesture with lazy grace, transmitting power, strength and something that Dib catalogs as a mantle of death around him.

Dib's fists clench, hating the fact of staying in an unfavorable position for not saying disadvantageous and resisting frustration at the vain attempt to stand up. The marks on his wrists remind him of how exhausted he is and how weak his body feels because of the blood he lost during his fight to reach his freedom.

One that unfortunately never came.

"So?" The creature's tone is barely a mocking hiss."Human, did you really believe that Tak had those inferior feelings for you?"

The derogatory tone does´t go unnoticed by Dib, much less the slight tinge of twisted fun that mixes in it. Cruelty is not unknown for him after all, growing up at the expense of it became something inherent in his life.

A misunderstood child whom everyone always labeled as mentally ill. No less than the shame of a successful father and recognized by those same people...

A father that Zim murdered mercilessly when chaos spread throughout the world.

"Where is she? Where do you have it, Zim?" Dib calls in his despair. "I swear if you did something... if you hurt her, myself..."

"You are even more foolish than I thought," Interrupts the Irken, rising slowly to rise even more above the human from the ostentatious throne he occupies. "Hurt her?" The vibrations of Zim's boots at approaching echo through the room. "Oh, dirty beast, don't you know?"

The weight of this affair records a bad omen in Dib.

"Know what?" He doesn't quite understand the weight of words and feels fear settling in his being.

Zim looks at him in a way that suggests he doesn't consider him very clever and Dib's face pales at the alien's tacit expression.

"You're really pathetic." The Irken shows his peculiar zipper teeth in a smile wickedly sinister half. "Do you know how you got here Dib?" The question lacks genuine curiosity and it´s intentions have the whole purpose of being derogatory.

No more than one uncomfortable and silent minute passes in which Dib is not able to answer that question, and in general that is because the answer really remains a mystery to him. The last thing he remembers is running away from the Zim soldiers before receiving an impressive discharge and then losing consciousness and waking up in one of the specialized cells for the members of the resistance. The following is horror and the beginning of hell.

"Your stupid soldiers! They ambushed Tak and Me to one of your traps." The pieces fit perfectly creating the only plausible answer, Dib has no doubt that that is what happened.

The pleasure dances in the alien factions of Zim at the words of his enemy, ignorance and naivety are the blessing of idiots like Dib.

"You fell directly into a trap, yes, but I assure you disgusting beast that the credit of such ambush is not mine."

Zim's words blink into Dib's gaze briefly as if they had managed to hit a nerve in him and seconds later the alien sees beyond the human, urging him to follow his example, surprise hits Dib so hard that his feet falter threatening with sinking it further into the ground.

"Tak?" Dib whispers with growing disbelief, running around the silhouette of the Irken woman with his eyes, although she doesn´t seem to answer his call. What is happening? "You are alive!" He try again with the hope that this time she dignifies her words even with a simple nod.

The statement doesn´t have the expected effect and Dib frowns, Zim's laugh breaks the charm of the reunion filling the air of uncertainty and malice.

"So you still don't guess?" Zim asks in a hard and ruthless voice, yearning to see the expression of who has been his nemesis for years and a hindrance in all those plans that ended in failure. "Please Invader Tak, help this dirty human to better understand the nature of your loyalty to the empire."

Dib shudders when Tak's silhouette leaves the shelter that the shadows provide her from the other side of the room, and to his bitter disappointment he realizes that Zim is not boasting with empty words.

"What…?" The face of the human shows some confusion, but any doubt dissipates when Dib seeks sincerity in Tak's gaze and any sign of denial in the face of such an assertion.

Doesn´t find it.

Dib's eyes dodge Tak and get stuck in some empty spot in that room, so remember, recognize and he horrified by the truth. That Tak's offer to overthrow Zim's advances on the planet was nothing more than a tactic to take him straight into a trap, the ultimate end of that alliance has nothing to do with Zim's fall and all with his revenge to him.

Dib's mind and heart are breaks.

"Why? I trusted you!" The boy simultaneously questions and protests, shaking his head as if with that simple action he could expel the betrayal thoughts that flood his mind.

Dib is sad when he recognizes that the small moments of complicity and sincerity that he shared with the alleged ex invader meant absolutely nothing to her, perhaps, he thought, he longed for a bit of company and understanding on the part of anyone in the middle of hell they were living. No one could blame him for placing his trust in the first `person´ who held out a hand with the promise of helping him in his cause.

"I had no choice." She just says, feeling the need that she didn't need to explain more and assuming is better that way. Will help make what comes next much easier for both of they.

"Yes, you had, but you preferred to take sides with the monster you swore to take revenge on." He corrects painfully in each of his words and gives her a look of disapproval.

The invader opens her mouth as if she were going to respond but says nothing because she doesn´t find the valid argument to refute the human's words, however Tak doesn´t believe she can explain and justify her actions. At this point any explanation is left over.

Instead, she regains the determination necessary to end the matter once and for all.

"Well, you already have him Zim, now you can send him to that prison on one of Saturn's moons." The only reason she ended up in that situation was because of Zim's promise to keep Dib alive by banishing him to that prison."

The former invader has a backup plan to amend the damage she has done to the human.

Zim lets out another shrill laugh as if what Tak had just say him was nothing more than a funny joke, then cleared his throat before speaking.

"The plans have changed Tak but I appreciate your help in bringing this scum to me." The alien replies dryly, hardening his countenance. "I will remember your loyalty when I kill the human." With a wave of his hands Zim calls the guards that waiting patiently for his signal.

Three soldiers approach the Irken girl to catch her, two hold her hands and the third one positions and presses the tip of his weapon on Tak's back.

"What? Don´t!" She fights trying to get out of the soldiers grip when they drag her to the door to take her to one of the cells."You're a damn traitor Zim, you promised me you wouldn't hurt Dib!"

The guards take her out before she could finish her prayer. Dumbfounded by the events, Dib cries out Tak's name again and again hoping she can get rid of her captors, but hope dies when He doesn't perceive her voice after a while.

"Tak was as pathetic as you after all." Zim says in a hiss to no one in particular. "Harbor such inferior feelings for a pathetic creature is not worthy of an invader." He boasts, but his tone keeps disgusted by the simple idea.

After all, feelings are not part of the programming of Irken soldiers and their race in general, not when the ultimate goal of their existence was always conquest and ambition. _Love? Compassion? Affect?_ They were weaknesses that made them vulnerable in their condition.

Dib pays attention to the words of his enemy recognizing hypocrisy in them, Zim has the nerve to take human feelings as the worst blasphemies for his people when he has also professed those emotions.

"What about you?" Dib dares to question with the intention of erasing that smug smile on the despicable face of the alien. "You are nothing but a hypocrite in accusing Tak of pathetic when you also has felt affection for a human, Zim."

Zim changes his expression of arrogance for one of shock mixed with slight indignation, although it only lasts a fraction of a second before recomposing and facing that human. It doesn't take him a minute to unravel the meaning in Dib's words and frowns at the grief that arises when memories stir within his mind.

The Irken murmurs a curse in his alien lenguage before approaching the human and putting his heavy boot on Dib's shoulder to sink him further into the ground, rubbing it again and again delighting in the groans of pain from his enemy.

"Are you going to deny it, damn unhappy monster?" Dib's face comes down to a grimace of pain and his voice is barely audible to fill the room but if to reach Zim. He hopes to see some hint in him, anything that answers the question he has had for many years.

The alien clicks his teeth towards Dib before removing his boot on him and turning to surround the human, he walks from side by side maintaining the necessary distance between the two although the possibility of escape from the boy is void. A hint of disdain touches Zim's factions in the face of Dib's boldness, it is a subject he continually avoids and has in mind despite the years.

"I admit that I had these... feelings for little Gaz." Zim have a sudden crackles heat inside him as he pronounce his former lover's name. "But you are wrong Dib beast, Gaz was not a human more of your dirty race, she knew how to recognize the inferiority of her species and despise them for their stupidity, I must admit that little Gaz had enough vision to be taken a account by someone so superior like Zim."

Of course, Gaz , the thought reinforces a smile on the alien. Despite the time, Zim still remembers the approach he had with the sister of his worst enemy; the video games, the time she shared at his base repeating him how ineffective his plans were, Zim's mania for pleasing her mundane and ridiculous desires. And the interaction, the feeling of company that made his stay less boring on that deplorable planet.

Many other details and moments were marked in the alien's memory. _Love?_ His species does not know the term or anything remotely similar to it, however Zim could classify the strange and annoying feeling for the girl as such. _Maybe._

"No Zim, if you had loved Gaz, you wouldn't has left her alone before her death." Dib's voice is barely a low growl full of rage that drips down the ostentatious room, Zim lies and is certain that the affirmation of the feeling of Love to his sister on his part is totally false. "And you wouldn't have killed our father on your return." No, that was not love . Dib finishes the sentence in his mind but his eyes in rage reflect the thought.

Dib's hands sting to circle Zim's slender neck and twist him to extinguish his miserable life to avenge his father and all those who died since his return to earth. Underestimating Zim was perhaps the worst mistake made.

The Irken shrugs as if the claim of the professor's death wasn´t much and in reality for Zim it isn´t, Membrana as well as other humans are obstacles in their way to take the planet and prove to the Tallest their worth as an invader, being this the last and true opportunity.

It has taken several years for him to have that mission again and he doesn´t plan to let his opportunity be ruined.

"You will see Dib, unlike your dirty inferior species, the Irken race has only one purpose in its existence." Zim retakes up the previous action of surrounding the human while he explains, moves with sinuous grace in front of him. "The expansion of the empire and the destruction of all inferior life that crosses the road, for thousands of years the empire has been responsible for the ruin of hundreds of planets. That is the purpose of our race, to grow until everything is part of it."

_Yes, Zim is nothing but a monster._ Dib thinks, avoiding the desire to get up and kill the alien right there. The Irkens are really a universal plague: they infest, consume and destroy other planets in order to quench their hunger for domination and power.

"Invaders like Tak and I shouldn´t have such inferiors feelings because they are a setback to our missions." Zim's eyes narrow and his lips twist in sardonic humor.

"You said you loved her!" Dib replies, also remembering Tak's words.

A dark emotion flames on life in Zim's eyes.

"Of course I did Dib." The Irken tilts a slight smile that denotes little humor on his lips, but is just a grimace at the awareness of what he will say next. "Zim loved his love-pig very much, but as much as I loved your sister, I also realized that this feeling was only an obstacle to my mission." He stops to observe the frank disbelief in the human.

"What do you mean Zim?" It takes Dib a moment to recognize something else in Zim's speech and just a moment to feel the bad omen in the response he was about to receive.

Zim's expression hardens and Dib understands that his assumptions are true, something doesn't feel right. A strange sensation settles deep within his heart.

"That even if I loved little Gaz a lot, I had to do what was necessary to do my duty as an invader." The malicious gleam in Zim's eyes goes out when he releases his next words. "I admit that ending Gaz's life was perhaps the hardest thing I've ever done. It hurt me to implant those Nanobots in her bloodstream to weaken her defenses and make they think it was an autoimmune disease." Despite the broken tone, Zim's expression shows no regret."

Dib blinks at the blunt confession. The premise that the death of his sister was caused by Zim generates a state of shock in him.

"You..." Dib throws a dark glance at the alien when the feeling of sickening settles in the mouth of his stomach.

"I understood that if I continued with this situation I would never achieve my purpose and even if I returned to Irk or some other distant planet, I would end up returning to be stay with her." Zim ignores the look on Dib and continues his rant with grim determination.

A low hiss is heard from Dib's lips and in an outburst of renewed determination he gathers forces to stand up and rush against the despicable Irken who dared to boast about the murder of his little sister. The impact bounces and echoes through the cold walls of the room, the force is such that it throws Zim on the floor in just a second.

Dib's breathing is agitated and his emotions turbulent and violent with the desire for death characteristic of the instinct for revenge. But the victory lasts less than a blink when Zim stabs Dib's side with one of his PAK legs.

"Soldiers!" Zim screams angered by such a grievance by a disgusting human and the least he can do with it is to give him the punishment he deserves. Four soldiers arrive to him shortly after that call. "Throw the human into the reinforced containment cell and prepare what is necessary for its execution this afternoon." Zim's lethal tone doesn´t go unnoticed by subordinates.

A dismissive wave of his hand is enough for the soldiers to abide by the order immediately taking Dib, and the human is not even strong enough to fight after the outburst of previous violence.

Dib is dragged to his destination to find death a few hours later and Zim looks at the human with cold disdain for having awaken the feelings inside. The hand of the Irken migrates to a compartment in his PAK from which he removes an object that he has been carrying with him for years protecting him as an invaluable treasure.

The sharp claws hold the pendant of a necklace with such delicacy, the Invader looks longingly the object and sighs with regret admitting that he still misses his lover's company; He only hopes that the sacrifice is worthwhile to reaffirm his loyalty to the empire.

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_**End.**_

_**A/N:**_

_**This thing started as a vague idea and it took me almost two weeks to finish writing it... **__**I was inspired by the Guardians of the Galaxy scene vol. 2, when Ego tells Peter the truth about his mother's death and I said why not? And finally this was the final result.**_

_**I had a lot of fun writing this, I think it's been my favorite fic of all the ones I've written so far. **_

_**Sorry if the story is flawed, this is a translation or at least an attempt at translation... my English is bad. **_

_**Anyway, I hope you like it and in advance thank you for reading**_


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